#DumbMarketing: Is State Farm Offering Divorce/Leave Your Kids Insurance?

Here's the commercial in question (although you've probably seen it already):

Now, before the final sequence here are the "never" moments that occur:

1) "I'm never getting married ... guaranteed."
2) "We're never having kids."
3) "We're never moving to the suburbs."
4) "We are never getting [a mini-van]."
5) "We are never having another kid."

And finally,

5) "I'm never letting go."

The ending seems sweet enough, if not a downright touching moment. But think about it: what evidence do we have that this guy really means he's "never letting go"? None. Not only that, all the evidence points to the contrary. 

With the sample we're given, it's actually safer to bet on him leaving his wife and kids than actually staying with them, because, ya know, the whole commercial is built on the guy reneging on things he said he'd never do.

Furthermore, once you think about it in terms of this guy leaving his wife and kids,(or at least entertain the possibility), doesn't it make the ending really bizarre? After the final "I'm never letting go," the State Farm ad proclaims it's there "For all the nevers in life." Really, ALL the nevers? Wouldn't it have been better to sort of get ahead of the assumption that -- as far as this commercial goes -- "never" never means "never"?

I mean, they could have gone with something like "Sometimes never means 'never' ... for all the other nevers, there's State Farm." Nope. They went with ALL the nevers. Then, the State Farm logo/words are underscored with "Auto" (presumably referring to the mini-van), "Home" (self-explanatory), "Life" (more in a second), and "Bank" (referring to the family's and/or the guy's money/savings).

 So, this "Life" thing. I think it's safe to say the "Life" category can't really be boiled down to one simple thing like the other areas of auto, home, and bank. 

Life is more complex and all-encompassing. Since it's an insurance ad, one of those aspects of "Life" would undoubtedly be life insurance -- as in, money left for the guy's family should something horrible and unexpected happen. But maybe we could also combine the "Life" and "Bank" areas to offer something in the way of a separate account should the guy find himself without his wife and kids.

Admittedly, that's sort of a conspiracy theory, but the divorce rate is about 50/50, so it's not like assuming a divorce is in the works is assuming the thing that happens 1% of the time will happen.  We're betting even odds here.  

But before you make me the bad guy for suggesting a bad ending, remember, State Farm is there for ALL the nevers.